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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28936884">blood-sucker's hemorrhage</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cholerica/pseuds/cholerica'>cholerica</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>lover's quarrel [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>No Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, eiran's a lil monster, he has a lot of problems, one of them is that he fell in love with eurus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:33:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>761</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28936884</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cholerica/pseuds/cholerica</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>All he was, was pain; humane.</p>
<p>Eiran was yearning.</p>
<p>And he didn't even know it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eiran Vazar/Eurus Ronewa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>lover's quarrel [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122329</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>blood-sucker's hemorrhage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>stream monster by irene and seulgi fools</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>Eiran was yearning.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>Pain weaved through his body, flooding every vein, bursting through every artery. It trapped him, inside his own body, filled his lungs with fire. It burned his eyes till all he saw was white, till the only thought in his mind was him.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>Eiran felt choked in his own body, he could feel his heart - supposedly, undead - beating in a rhythm so harsh, so fast that an unbearable ache spread through his body. Till all he felt, till all he <em><span>knew</span></em> was a crave, a longing so overwhelming and deep that he could have been drowning yet still feel like he was on fire.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>Every part of his body was ablaze, his heart like a pyromaniac with a matchstick, ready to set the whole world on fire.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>All he wanted to was claw himself inside out, rip himself to pieces, the very thing he did to his victims, to his food. All he wanted to do was feel nothing, like he always did, to feel cold and invincible again. All he wanted was to be himself again, ruthless and monstrous - an abomination.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>All he was, was pain; humane.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>Eiran was yearning.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>And he didn't even know it.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>Eiran thought the world was getting even with him, in the form of a mundane hunter. He thought this was the world's way of maintaining balance, that karma had finally decided to gather their balls and pick a bone with him.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>He wasn't wrong.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>But he wished he was</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>Eiran was yearning.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>For him; the boy who killed him. Well not literally, but he might as well have. That might have hurt less than this did.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>But maybe this was good, Eiran tried to convince himself. Maybe this was good that he was finally suffering, maybe it was good that he was finally getting back what he gave to the world. Maybe this was good, there could be a lesson that Eiran would learn from this. Maybe this was good because for the first time, Eiran wasn't the monster. He wasn't the one to be cursed and pleaded to, maybe this time... he was the one who would be crying and begging.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>Maybe this was good.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>But yearning wasn't.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>And Eiran was yearning.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>He was yearning... and yearning... and yearning...</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>Eiran was yearning.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>'Why are you really doing this?'</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>To me, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Eiran added - not aloud, never aloud. He simply let his thoughts overwhelm him, take over him. <em><span>Like they always did</span></em>.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>'Eurus?'</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>Saying his name hurt, Eiran bitterly realized, a poor attempt to shift Eurus from where he was but he instead ended up hurting himself more. <em><span>Like he always did.</span></em></span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>'You're hurting me, Eurus.'</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>But you're hurting him too, </span>
  </em>
  <span>a voice - dull, dark, dangerous - echoed in his mind. <em><span>You're hurting him too, can't you see? The way he's shaking, the way he can't meet your eyes; its all your fault, not his. Like it always had been.</span></em></span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>'It hurts so much.'</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>Then how come... then how come you're smiling? Why are you not crying, why are you not showing the pain? Please...</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>'Stop it.'</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>I want to, Eurus, I want to stop. I want everything to stop, I want to hold your hand till you stop shaking, I want to kiss your tears away. I want... you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>I want you, I want you, I want you-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>No. I can't. I can't want you.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>You're hurting me.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>'I can't.'</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>Finally a truth, </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice had returned, <em><span>but how real is the truth?</span></em></span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>Very, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Eiran thoughtlessly argued back. <em><span>It's very real.</span></em></span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>Why couldn't he see he was fighting with himself?</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>Was it denial? No. He really couldn't see... who was getting even with him.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>'Please.'</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>Why are you not crying like him, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Eiran didn't have a defence for that, <em><span>why are you still smiling?</span></em></span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>Because you're a monster. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Stop. <em><span>You're a monster, in every scenario, no matter who's getting hurt. You're the monster. </span></em>I know.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>'I'm sorry.'</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>Why aren't you sorry, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Eiran wanted to sob. He wanted a lot of things at the moment.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>He wanted it all to stop.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>But it didn't.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>It didn't.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>'I know.'</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>No you don't, you know nothing anymore</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I know. <em><span>No, you don't.</span></em></span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>'I know.'</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>You're still lying to him; you're always only lying to him. Has anything ever been true?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>I loved him. I love him. I really do.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <em>
    <span>Then why aren't you crying?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>Eiran still didn't have an answer for that.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>He didn't need an answer for that. The voice knew why, <em><span>he</span></em> knew why.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>He's a monster.</span>
</p>
<p class="ql-align-justify">
  <span>And the monster is still yearning.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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